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泰勒絲不懂愛情?給你新觀點


我誤打誤撞發現一篇名為”Taylor Swift Seriously Doesn’t Know What Love Is”(「泰勒絲根本不懂什麼是愛情」) 的聳動標題網路文章,發表平台是一個叫做YourTango 的網路雜誌,目標讀者是女性族群,內容主打女性關注的愛和人際關係等等主題,例如自我、夫妻、伴侶、朋友、寵物甚至舊情人。

這篇2014年的文章由部落客Amy Sciarretto所寫,內容針對Taylor Swift在IG上回覆女粉絲的戀愛問題這件事發表評論。

背景

一個叫Hannah 的小女生告訴TS 她從小就暗戀某個可愛的男孩,但他永遠不會喜歡上她。他有個漂亮又身材好的女友,這個女友甚至對Hannah也很好,她想請TS給她一些建議。

原文在此: "There's a guy Taylor, a guy who's sweet and charming and makes me laugh," Hannah writes. " ... A guy who I have the biggest crush in the whole wide world on, and he'll never like me back. (And he has a girlfriend who he adores and she's pretty and has an amazing figure and is actually nice to me). @taylorswift can you give me some advice maybe. I love you."

美麗又善解人意的泰泰這麼回覆她:

"Okay. About this guy. I think we grow up thinking the only love that counts as true love is the kind that lasts forever or is fully realized. When you have a broken heart, the first thing a stranger will ask is ‘How long were you two together?' As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone. Or if you were with them at all. I don't think that's how it works. I think unrequited love is just as valid as any other kind. It's just as crushing and just as thrilling. No matter what happens in this situation, I want you to remember that what you are doing is selfless and beautiful and kind. You are loving someone purely because you love them, not because you think you'll ever have your affections reciprocated. You are admiring something for its beauty, without needing to own it. Feel good about being the kind of person who loves selflessly. I think someday you'll find someone who loves you in that exact same way."

大意是說,她覺得真愛不應該用交往多久或到底有沒有和對方在一起來衡量,”unrequited love”「無償的愛情」一樣令人心碎和激賞。她讚美Hannah的行為既無私又動人,因為她不計結果和回報只是純粹喜愛對方,最後祝福Hannah 有天找到同樣愛她的人。

圖片來源:http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/07/25/article-2705754-1FFA73D800000578-461_634x381.jpg

作者觀點

原文作者Amy覺得「戀愛專家」TS前面的論點其實頗有道理,但給單純直白的青少年暗戀煩惱扣上「無償的愛情」這個大帽子,未免言過其實。

理由一:這只是一時的迷戀(crush)。

作者覺得每個人的成長過程中都經歷過迷戀,而那種感覺並不會持續太久,真正不求回報的愛情要犧牲的東西或要冒的風險更多,例如青春流逝,而不是在年輕還有大好前程和無窮可能性的時候自以為苦戀一個已經有女友的男生。長大後回想以前暗戀過的人,難免會覺得WTF自己當時在想些什麼。

理由二:「無償的愛情」很多時候只是合理化自我膨脹,過度美化自己的感覺為無私喜歡對方。

作者很毒的說TS是這個心理的箇中高手,因為她一概認定男方的女友都很糟糕,自己才是對方最完美的伴侶。例如她的歌 “You Belong With Me" "Speak Now" 還有 "Better Than Revenge”等等。最後作者說迷戀就是迷戀,不是什麼可歌可泣的愛情,而是學習與認識愛情的一部分。

尾聲 

介紹完畢,大家覺得這個作者說得有沒有道理呢?我看到理由二時默默中了好幾槍,其實單戀的苦澀好像真的沒那麼偉大,常常是自己的內心小劇場在糾結。不過我會對這篇文章產生興趣主要還是因為想看TS被嗆啦 (泰粉請息怒哈哈)。

 

原文出處:http://www.yourtango.com/2014221377/celeb-love-taylor-swift-thinks-unrequited-love-real-thing


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